I am Alex Maximo, your English 1 instructor. From now on, you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be in English. Do you maggots understand that?

And to any whiny freshman remark I’ll answer with “You little scumbags! I’ve got your name! I’ve got your classcards! You will not laugh! You will not cry! You will learn by the letter. I will teach you.”

A parody of Full Metal Jacket. In response to my best buddy’s remark on playing the Gunny Sgt. Hartman card on my students. Well, I guess it’s time. Because freshmen are scum.

Yes, they are lousy disoriented spoiled brats strutting their lousy asses around UP with all the pretenses of graduating Valedictorian from their high schools. Piff. Like those ever counted. I remember that I had a bunch of Valedictorian and Salutatorian blockmates. And who came out on top, anyway? Haha.

I was clear during my first day of class. Aside from being a composition class, English 1 is an ideas class. While I wouldn’t be drilling them too hard since they already had their Math subjects for those, I told them to at least, bring ideas with them before they enter my classroom. A month into the semester and asking a yes-or-no question would only get me dumb gazes.

I think the problem with kids nowadays is they’re just a bunch of grade-conscious slackers who think too highly of themselves. Well, I’m generalizing. I know there are still a few kids in there who are quite okay. While I did tell them I won’t be that terror instructor in their first semester in UP, I think they’re abusing my laxness. And since I can’t resort to a hickory switch for motivation, I guess a bit of Marine motivation is in order.

Yes. I tried to play it just a tad bit too nice. Say goodbye to Mr. Nice Guy.

Check out these other posts:

1. Suck ups: a first
2. First day of classes and it’s Independence Day
3. First weekend as a teacher
4. One month down
5. Hanging tough, managing… barely